Smaug the Golden, chief antagonist in J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit, was named Forbes’ top fictitious billionaire in 2012.The dragon hopes to retain that title in the magazine’s next ranking, but he has a new project to occupy his vast wealth.
The dragon, worth $62 billion, has filed paperwork with the Federal Election Commission to create “Dragons for a Golden Tomorrow,” a super PAC to help pro-dragon candidates win federal office in 2014.
Smaug says he’s readyto spend billions in gold, diamonds and mithril to highlight the issues facing his species.
“I appreciate the Obama administration’s efforts to regulate coal pollution, but it presents a slippery slope for dragons,” Smaug snarled. “It looks good on paper, but what’s to stop the EPA from coming to regulate dragon fire?”
The fire drake also has concerns about higher taxes. Smaug acquired much of his wealth from sacking the great dwarf city of Erebor, and his hoard-based saving system has made a hefty return.
“I feel marginalized. I had to broil entire armies of dwarves to get to where I’m at,” the dragon mused. “I wasn’t born with a mithril spoon in my mouth.”
Smaug hopes this new organization will help bring these issues to the public and help oppressed dragons nationwide. However, Smaug says he’s not all pessimistic on the current state of Washington.
“The administration’s drone program is a welcome development,” he said. “I’d request the CIA keep an eye on a troop of dwarves working its way to my doorstep. They look suspicious”